6/8 March - Suckling Penguins - 1st writing attempt

[PiperDeamus]

This is my first attempt at writing, although I've been playing for about 30 years. Please give me your opinion and let me know if I should write some more or go back to just playing.

[clanpiper]

Hi Mike,

I think your tune is a good effort (especially for a fist attempt) but IMHO it needs some work. The B uptake in the 2nd part doesn’t fit, have you tried C? You use it in the 2nd line. Also the HG 4th Part 2nd Bar doesn’t work at all.

Cheers Benedikt

[philamor]

Agree with the comments above, Mike, from clanpiper, but all is not lost. I enclose a copy of the tune with the 4th part 1st bar 2nd beat altered to suit the HG that clanpiper doesn't like, but now sounds fine I think. I have also added a dg in the appropriate places in the bars to help with timing, I feel - but only an opinion mind. There are one or two other areas where a wee tinkering would personally help witht eh melodic continuity, but essentialy the tune is fine. I have also changed the gracenote length to as more realistic speed, which lends to the swing too.

Hope the changed beat is OK.